OUR DAILY COSTUME WE USE TO COPE
I was getting off the train earlier this week and saw The Riddler carrying a sleeping Robin towards the LIRR. It took me a moment to register… ComiCon. One of the weeks in NYC where it’s not strange to see a plethora of superheroes and magical creatures getting making transfers and walking the streets.
One of the best things about events like Comic-Con and other fun events like Halloween is that we get to dress up. Costumes give us the freedom to put on a mask, they allow us to become someone or something else. We can be the sexy vixen, mad scientist or funny pun, the expression of who we are is endless.
When it comes to expressing ourselves in real life, what costumes do we find ourselves putting on? A famous term is “fake it till you make it”. This term has always allowed me to mentally put on a costume to preserve ourselves as we adjust to a life change. While this can be a good form of self-preservation we must ask ourselves what costumes we’re putting on and why.
When we put on a different “face” for people what are we trying to enhance or potentially hide? Are we stepping into a greater version of ourselves that we are aiming to be or potentially hiding away from something or trying to scare something away?
We are in a world where we are asked to constantly present ourselves. “Building your brand” has sadly become an opportunity for people to negatively compare to others and feel they must create a false presentation of who they are in order to be “enough”. This is not healthy. When we feel we are creating a barrier between ourselves and the world we are likely beginning to put on a costume that might be preserving us from an emotion or experience we are hoping to avoid. This can be ok for a while but we have to find space to ask ourselves why we feel the need to currently put that mask on. When we ask ourselves this seemingly simple (but actually really complex) question we begin to open ourselves to a space that allows us to grow.
So how do we do this? We take a step back and ask ourselves what is really going on. One way I love to do this is through freewriting. Taking a moment collect thoughts to move forward. Try putting 30 minutes on the clock and sit with the following questions to cultivate the courage to take the costume off.
- What costume do you feel you have been putting on lately? How does this costume look, what does it enhance in you, what does it hide?
- Why do you feel you are putting this costume on? (Think of when you started to put on this costume, what event happened or what was going on in your life?)
- Is your costume enhancing attributes about yourself you want to show more or hiding who you really are?
- What is one small thing you can do to begin to take your costume off or merge characteristics more into your authentic self?
Try asking yourself these questions whenever you’re feeling “off” or like you’re moving farther away from what feels aligned with your truth.
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