SEX TOYS, GENDER & EGO
Sex is amazing with two equally engaged participants. When both parties involved are focused on getting each other off, sex is nothing less than spectacular. Usually, the bodies are enough, for most people. What happens when it’s time to spice it up? Do something different than the usual? Sex toys are the first suggestion, most are open to it, some are not.
Sex toys women mainly use are vibrators, dildos, and Anal plugs/beads.. ⅔ of those options most men would be open to, you can guess which one is a big NO for many. However open your partner is to inviting a sex toy in the bedroom, there’s a small sense of an ego blow.. “am I not enough?” Yet I feel it also varies upon man, a man who is all about pleasing you will be open to a vibrator or may even want to try anal toys to further satisfying you, it may even be an ego boost.
I conducted a poll for males on Twitter and (ironically I received 69 votes) here are the results
Now as you can see 23% weren’t open to it, 14% of that screams ego “what for? I do it well” indicating that even if their partner suggested it, their ego feels they could satisfy her without it. While that may be true, women like thrills and new experiences, further taking satisfaction to new heights and a toy could be that spark they are craving.. a stubborn male ego wouldn’t see it past an insult to even suggest it. While 9% says “it’s a dub period” they are not even open to any idea of involving a toy in their sessions, some may be thinking of dildos and are just turned off at the idea… I say this because option 3 was there for them.. they chose option 2. Pretty telling if you ask me.
59% of voters were open to the idea solely for their partner so it’s an ego boost for them to me, “I want to satisfy her to whatever extent she wants, it’ll make me feel good to make her feel great” which is a win-win for everyone involved. Now I want to do another poll where I get specific, with what sex toys are okay with men in the bedroom (I love the anonymity of the polls, makes voters more comfortable) that will take it up a notch.
18% of voters, always wanted to try it.. so it’s safe to assume they have never felt comfortable enough to suggest it to their partner (maybe out of fear of appearing inadequate?) or never had a partner comfortable enough to agree to try it with them.
The more I think about it, the deeper I feel I need to dig to get to the root of the stigma with sex toys and male ego (in heterosexual relationships) on a positive and negative scale. It’s very interesting what thoughts this poll result sparked and I want to gather more info and open dialogue for men to feel comfortable discussing in an honest healthy manner.
For the men and women comfortable speaking on it, have you used a sex toy with your partner? Care to share those details? How did that come up? Who suggested it? How did it turn out? Comment below
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