Trust me, I never thought I would be in this situation. I watched my parents have a seemingly happy marraige. Their partnership created a sold foundation for my and my siblings growing up. I imagined my future to eventually look this way. I want my children thinking back fondly on the love they witnessed throughout their childhood.
Once I got to high school however I learned that my position to my sexuality was foreign compared to the ideas of my parent’s marriage. First off, first love in high school and sexual experience was with a girl. And I did not lose my virginity to a guy until I was 23. From that point on, I was completely free towards sex. Unlike my family’s dynamic, being sexually free is how I felt I was meant to live. Having sexual freedom empowered me at a time when I really needed it.
Fast forward, three years later and I meet the love of my life, at a bar We hit it off, and our chemistry was off the charts. We ended up having sex in the bathroom later that night. We formed a bond, a friendship and soon Iw as only fucking him. I guess you can call him my first boyfriend.
For almost 2 years things between us was almost perfect. We loved hanging out, grabbing food and drinks (we both considered ourselves foodies), and lots of cos play and nerd-like activities We really were two peas in a pod. So much in common, and great chemistry. Why was the most interesting was how happy my parents and family members were to see that I was capable of a “normal” straight relationship. My siblings even began forming friendships with him. For a time, I love it. I saw myself on that road towards a traditional marriage like my parens.
However, as we approached our 3 year anniversary, I realized I was beginning to grow bored. Not with my boyfriend personally, just with the monotony that comes with relationships and sex in relationships. My sexual appetite that lay dormant all those years was slowly creeping back up to the surface. Men and women became more and more attractive to me when I was out in New York. And it was getting harder and harder to find reasons not to act on it. I mean, it was just sex for me.
Slowly my boyfriend and I began fighting all the time, there was the weird tension between us that neither one of us could explain. We both became distant in ways that never happened before in our relationship. One night after a long night of drinks and fighting we finally had a good ‘heart to heart.’
We both confessed that we were a little restless. We both loved each other and saw our marriage as an end game. But we soon learned that we were not gonna get there the traditional way. So we decided to open up our sex life.
Now, before we dated our dating preferences were the complete opposite of who we are. We are both black, he has long locks and a robust beard (so sexy), and I am a natural thick and curvy black girl. Before him, I was into white girls and trendy asian boys. All of his exes were petite white girls, he snagged a couple red heads. So when we decided to open up our sex lives we dived back into what we like and what we once knew.
We signed up for Tinder, and we both began to explore the site. We started with casual dates with girls and later turned into flings. This was fun. We would go on group dates and it was really cool getting to know other New Yorkers out there. We like for them to choose a good place to meet, as we have discovered many cool spots and neighborhoods across all 5 boroughs.
We use Tinder, Bumble, and Feeld, for couples wanting to open things up.
After 6 months, we moved on to couples. It has been a year now and we can not call ourselves swingers just yet. But all in all this openness has brought us a lot closer and happier as a couple. We enjoy our sex life, meeting new people and new friends. All in all, I am glad we trusted our foundation enough to try having an open relationship. A lot of people will probably read this like I would never. But don’t knock it until you try it.