NYC LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS
The following contains the internal dialogue of how a New Yorker uses a dating app:
“Swipe left, swipe right. Oh, he’s cute and seems interesting…I’d love to swipe right but he lives in Brooklyn… that’s a deal breaker, I don’t do long distance relationships”
This is how many potential relationships never come to be, they are just a Brooklyn Bridge too far.
A BOROUGH TOO FAR
For someone living in Hell’s Kitchen or above 86th street, your Brooklyn lover might as well be living across the country. Even though your apartment is only 8-10 miles away. In my native land Texas, being 8-10 miles from your boo is nothing but a short drive in your pickup truck. However for us New Yorkers, it is much more involved.
As accessible as it is, we are still at the mercy of the MTA’s routes, unplanned inefficiencies, line transfers. Sometimes commuting to the next borough or even from one end of Manhattan to the other could take over an hour. Also, not to mention, we could become subject to Uber fare surges.
If our potential date lives 1 subway transfer too many from us, it is doable and completely worth it if they really spark our interest. Albeit, if our date in question resides in Queens with a journey involving 2 or even 3 MTA transfers, then maybe it was not meant to be.
The wellness of any relationship is built on our willingness to compromise. In other words, “to meet in the middle”. Plan to meet at the halfway between your two homes. Better yet, find an event that is in the vicinity of your halfway point. Doing healthy fun stuff is the best way to get to know someone.
By sharing a novel experience, you are able to gather a more refined insight into your date’s character, worldview, and values. At healthy fun events like the Sweat Party or expanding your minds at sound baths meditations at the W00m Center, you are more likely to establish a respectful vibe of playful ease much more than an initial date of downing drinks or staring at Netflix together.
And when it is time to go home, see your date off to their train stop. It is the right thing to do.
The Between Space
Distance is less of a deterrent when there is a willingness to compromise and explore what is possible in the space between point A and point B. Having a significant MTA commute to our lover from a far away borough is an opportunity to be more intentional about the way we use our time. Being mindful of travel time and distance can help us become more respectful and accountable in terms of planning and communication. Perhaps it is the space between that will evolve our consciousness to become more grateful for the company of others.
Have your relationships been affected by being just a borough too far? Let us know in the comments or send your thoughts to email@example.com