BEING HONEST WITH DIFFICULT FAMILY MEMBERS
Honesty is the best policy…right? And communicating our honest feelings is the best way to connect with people we love. Our friends, romantic partners, and relatives. But what if being honest does not always help? What if we have family members that are not as emotionally intelligent as we are? Ok, I will get down to it. How do we deal with difficult family members?
As a child growing up, you are taught that it is always better, to be honest, and to always tell the truth instead of telling lies. Once a liar always a liar, and if you tell one lie then you have to tell more to cover up the first one and that no one will ever trust you again because you lied. It’s hard to shake off the title “liar” once you have it. But being honest can also cause problems within a household.
Being honest with your family members can usually do more harm than good in most cases. It can be difficult, to be honest on things that you know that will make them feel hurt or uncomfortable. The last thing you want to do is hurt the people you love and yes the truth can hurt but it can also gain you respect from those same loved ones.
For instance, being a relationship with someone that your family doesn’t approve of can bring unnecessary stress, arguments, and drama that no one wants or need in their life. A lot of things will come up such as, he’s/she’s not good enough for you, you can be held to a better standard than what you already are, you should be with someone who treats like you a King/Queen, etc., but their opinions can often lead to an unexpected reality check such as, “you given me all of this advice/opinions, but you aren’t in a relationship either, or your baby father/mother left you and now your single”, etc and it can be hurtful but it is the truth. So what do you do when it comes to telling the truth without hurting that person you love?
There really isn’t a good way to tell the truth without hurting someone. They say that the truth hurts and it’s true no matter how you deliver it will hurt but it will also gain you the respect that you didn’t know that you needed. It also is a realization that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to your family.
With all of this being said, I believe that it is the best to share your feelings. You see it mostly when a family member dies or a big tragedy happens. This is when everyone is overwhelmed with feelings they have had for years and years but never shared. This is what can tear families apart. But if we have that one or two big blowouts when the time is right, maybe we can get to a good place before it is too late.
Conflict sucks. And not everyone is built for it, but when it comes to family we should do it and move on together. This is how we better connect.